December 23, 2014

Hello dave Shoe's On The Other Foot. I Am Blog Material

I am on vacation for the holidays. Hooray! But rather than spend my vacation in a far off exotic and unusual place full of interesting and diverse locals, like Boca Raton, Florida, we decided to do something different. We decided to visit someplace unique. We are in...

New York City.
You may be asking, "Who does that? Who goes to the place they work when on vacation? Well, you just hold on there, because the story gets better. We are staying in the hotel next door to my client's office. Not only next door to my client's office, we are staying in a room that looks out over my desk at the client's office. Just because I come here every day, it doesn't mean my kids should miss out on the greatest city in the world.

It all feels so familiar, yet not so familiar. Why? Because the shoe is on the other foot. This time, I am the tourist. I am blog material.

I've had a camera around my shoulder, we've stood on the left side of the escalator without walking, we went to Times Square (horrors!), we got on the subway before people finished getting off, and we got thrown when the train jerked.

We are having a great time. My little guy gets so excited on the subway that he keeps asking questions. He asks why we keep hearing a squealing noise. He asks who is driving the train. People are getting up for us and giving up their seats. They smile nicely. And then they put on their headphones to drown us out.

I could share endless vacation anecdotes, but I'll just share a few good quotes from the subway.

"Dad, you ride this train EVERY DAY? You're so lucky!" Well, I don't like to brag, kids. But yes. Yes, I do. And yes. Yes, I am.

"Is this our stop? No. Is this our stop? No. Is this our stop? No. Is this our stop?" Mind you, he didn't want to get off the train. He wanted to stay on the train and be sure we weren't there yet. When we got to our destination, there was sadness.

"I don't want to hold on." My daughter is strong-willed. She sets her mind to something, she does it. She wanted to learn how to subway surf without holding on. She's a pro now. Nearly a few wipeouts, but we were there to catch her.

"Can you carry me? I'm tired." What can I tell you? After a while, Times Square made my legs ache. My wife said no, though. The nerve. After all I do for her.

All of us at TTIV wish you and your families a joyous and healthy holiday season, and a happy new year! I hope that whatever you celebrate is festive.

**
Happy and safe commuting, and may you encounter uncommon sense.
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Twitter: @davidrtrainguy
email: thetrain.invain.829@gmail.com
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December 17, 2014

Hello dave The Hazards of Headphones

This morning, I got off the Long Island Rail Road and made my usual walk to the subway. The Allman Brothers Band's "In Memory of Elizabeth Reed" was grooving in my headphones, and I was in a very pleasant zoned out state.

I stood on the subway platform waiting for the A Train to arrive. The world around me was shut off, and soon I noticed that most everyone on the platform made a hasty retreat to the exits. What happened?
Had an announcement been made? I must have missed it as I listened to Duane Allman and Dickey Betts trade guitar licks. The only people remaining with me also wore headphones, and I probably had the same confused look as they all did. Like a good sheep, I followed the others to the exit. Baaaaaaaa.

Turns out there was an "earlier incident" and all the express trains were diverted to the local track. I waited for the E train and headed downtown.

I always talk about headphones as a must-have commuting survival tool. But like a grenade, your survival depends on how adept you are at using the tools in your belt. Headphones make you less aware of your surroundings, so you need to be careful. It's a chance I'm willing to take in the commuting trenches. 

**
Happy and safe commuting, and may you encounter uncommon sense.
Share your commuting stories on the Facebook TTIV site, on Twitter, using hashtag #TTIV, or via email.
Sign up for the blog mailing list by entering your email address in the "Follow By E-Mail" box.
Twitter: @davidrtrainguy
email: thetrain.invain.829@gmail.com
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Hello dave TTIV In Print!

Hi #TTIV friends! amNewYork picked up one of my stories, it is available at the following link. If you are in the city or an area where they print amNewYork, be sure to pick up a copy!

Thanks to all for following The Train In Vain. I enjoy writing it and greatly appreciate all your feedback, comments, and encouragement.

Best,
David

December 16, 2014

December 12, 2014

December 9, 2014

Hello dave Good Will Toward Your Fellow Man and Zombies

Note to #TTIV Readers: This blog piece was published on amNewYork's website at this link. Republishing here on the blog.

This morning on the train, I was half awake as we pulled into Atlantic Terminal, Brooklyn. Dazed and tired from the epic rainstorm (not to mention that binge-watching "The Walking Dead" on Netflix has significantly altered my normal sleep patterns), I collected my stuff, got up, and headed toward the vestibule to wait for the train's arrival.

As I stood in the aisle waiting for the train to stop, a guy in a nearby seat tapped me. "Your backpack is open," he said. Oops, I forgot to close it. "Thanks," I replied, and made a mental note to pay it forward.

Several seats away, where I had been sitting, the guy who I'd sat next to called out, "Excuse me!" Everyone turned. He was looking at me as he held a pair of gloves up. "Did you forget these?" Oops, I forgot to take them with me. "Thanks, " I said, and made a second mental note to pay it forward.

A few minutes later, we were making our final approach into the Brooklyn terminal. The woman standing in the aisle in front of me was looking on the floor for something. I asked if she needed help. She said, "I lost my headphones." I helped her looked for them, and found them near her seat. Pay it forward #1 paid in full.

I then got on the subway to make my way into Manhattan. Once on the train, I stood next to a man with his little boy, who was no more than 4 years old. He was standing in such a way that I knew he'd be thrown when the train jerked. I guess many years of subway surfing have given me an eye for that.  I could see that the little guy was going to fall when the train started moving. I was ready and caught him as he was thrown forward. Pay it forward number #2 paid in full.

What did I learn today? 1) I am Even Steven, 2) It takes a village to get to work in one piece, 3) I may have banked enough good will for Santa to be good to me, 3) acts of kindness are the oil that keeps the machines of daily routine running smoothly, and 4) Zombies are defeated when you stay in formation and go for the head with a sharp instrument.

**
Happy and safe commuting, and may you encounter uncommon sense.
Share your commuting stories on the Facebook TTIV site, on Twitter, using hashtag #TTIV, or via email.
Sign up for the blog mailing list by entering your email address in the "Follow By E-Mail" box.
Twitter: @davidrtrainguy
email: thetrain.invain.829@gmail.com
If you like the blog, tell a friend!

December 7, 2014

Hello dave Game Plans And Rookie Mistakes

Today's TTIV post comes from Marsh, our Metro-North Correspondent. Marsh will soon helm our Eastern Pennsylvania Bus Bureau, as he is headed for greener pastures. In the midst of a moving transition, this seasoned commuter has had to relearn some ropes.

In prior TTIV posts you've read about “Rookie Mistakes,” where new commuters failed at seemingly fundamental tasks. As a long time commuter and big time football fan, I’ve noticed similarities between the blunders made by inexperienced commuters and those made by young quarterbacks.

Recently, I embarked on a 2-3 week stint taking a new route to the office. Changing from Metro-North to NJ Transit was like being traded in mid-season to a playoff contender. I had to get used to a new offensive scheme with new coaches and teammates. I was determined to make a successful transition with no rookie errors.

To prepare myself for the ride from Suffern, NY to Midtown Manhattan, I transformed into Peyton Manning studying game film. I immersed myself in timetables, transfer schedules, and alternate routes. With only a few games left in the season, I would do whatever was necessary to get an edge on my next opponent. Nothing was left to chance.

Here’s an overview of my punch list.

Dry run to the NJ Transit station at Ramsey-Rte 17. CHECK. It's a good thing I did this. The traffic signs are written in a language that can only be described as “Jersey-ese,” and it took some studying to absorb their meanings. I scouted the parking garage and found the ticket machine on the far platform.

Compute monthly/daily/weekly parking and ticket options. CHECK. And a rather large check at that. $44 for parking, $236 for a combination of weekly and daily passes. Good thing I had Stephen Hawking on speed dial to help with the calculations. It's a tidy $280 for 11 round trips.

Find the trains with maximum ONT. UNCLEAR. Just like football, train commuting has its own lingo. ONT, or Optimum Nap Time, is a critical metric that I look to maximize. The 7:18 is a 44 minute trip with a train change, a four block walk out of Penn Station and two stops on the subway. The 7:37 is a quicker ride in, but most likely would net me zero sleep since it's a more crowded train.

Finally, it was game day. I put on my pads, uniform, eye black, and helmet.

I left for the station at 7:02. I parked, walked to the far platform, bought my weekly pass, turned around, and saw the open doors of the 7:18 in front of me. Like a quarterback hitting his receiver in stride, I pounced on an empty 4-seater as I boarded. First down!

I looked for a high-five from the conductor. I led my new squad to victory. Let’s celebrate. Time for a nap!!! I’m a pro, or so I thought.

At the Secaucus transfer, riders pass through turnstiles on their way to the NYC bound tracks. You insert your ticket into a slot, and it comes out the other side as the turnstile unlocks. Every train ticket I have ever seen has an arrow on it so you can tell which way to insert. Well, guess what? Weekly NJ Transit Rail Passes do not. I tried every direction…twice.

I was holding up the line behind me and was forced to ask for help, the commuter version of throwing a “pick six.” Suddenly, Peyton Manning became Geno Smith.

Ticket front and back.
Do you see insert directions anywhere?
The woman behind me slid the ticket in the correct way and the gate opened. I thanked her and was on my way. As she raced past me, I am certain I heard her mutter "rookie" under her breath. Like Geno Smith, I'm just thankful for the opportunity to learn. Unlike Geno, however, I probably will.

Thanks Marsh, for sharing your commuting story. The fans are rooting for you to succeed, don't listen to the boos.

Do you have commuting stories? I want to hear them! Share them with me at thetrain.invain.829@gmail.com, or post on Facebook or Twitter with hashtag #TTIV. 

**
Happy and safe commuting, and may you encounter uncommon sense.
Share your commuting stories on the Facebook TTIV site, on Twitter, using hashtag #TTIV, or via email.
Sign up for the blog mailing list by entering your email address in the "Follow By E-Mail" box.
Twitter: @davidrtrainguy
email: thetrain.invain.829@gmail.com
If you like the blog, tell a friend!



December 5, 2014

December 4, 2014

December 3, 2014

Hello dave More Commuter Neurosis

Recently I rode the 7:44 PM train home. I sat in the six-seater, across from two other guys. The six-seater is not my favorite place to perch but at least I wasn't standing. The six-seater offers its own series of neuroses, but that's not the subject of this post. Today, we'll talk about the neurosis of an "if you see something, say something" moment.

Are you familiar with this slogan? It came into use after 9/11. Our safety czars (tsars?) sought ways to keep public transportation safe. When they realized they had no clue how to go about this, they came up with the phrase to a) keep people alert, and b) spread the blame if something catastrophic should take place.

Here's what happened.

As we left Penn Station, a guy carrying an opaque plastic bag walked by. He stopped, put the bag down in the seat next to me, and then kept walking. 

Whoa. You don't leave unattended packages on the train! That's Commuting 101! I sat there looking at the bag, which had the "Duane Reade" pharmacy logo on it. What could be in it? A bomb? Sarin gas? Ricin? A deodorant stick? Where did he go? The obvious answer would be the lav, but I couldn't say with certainty.

10 minutes went by, and no sign of the guy. The two guys sitting across from me were completely oblivious. Were they part of the plot? Were they planning something sinister? 

I see something. Should I say something?

I thought about looking into the bag. But what if it was booby-trapped? What if there was key evidence in there? What if it was the mystery glowing item that Marsellus Wallace wanted back in "Pulp Fiction?" What if it was a jar of aspirin from the Analgesics aisle? I can't go through the bag. I'd look like a yenta for peering into the bag.

I see something. Should I say something?

Finally he returned. I took a good look at him, he looked like a cross between one of my high school gym teachers (Mr. Eccher, for those of you who go back that far with me) and Jeffrey Tambor. Not exactly terrorist material. He started speaking to the two other guys and me, and he was completely incoherent.

Or was he coherently speaking a foreign language? Did he just tell me in some foreign language to prepare to die?

I see something. Should I say something?

After he took out a beer
He went into the bag. The moment of truth. What's he going to take out? A weapon? Flintstone vitamins?

He pulled out a 16 Oz. Coors Light. He had three more in the bag. Do they sell beer at Duane Reade?

What did I see? I saw a drunk guy who went to relieve himself and make room for more cheap beer. This guy didn't need me to call the police to say something. He needed me to call him a taxi.


**
Happy and safe commuting, and may you encounter uncommon sense.
Share your commuting stories on the Facebook TTIV site, on Twitter, using hashtag #TTIV, or via email.

Sign up for the blog mailing list by entering your email address in the "Follow By E-Mail" box.
Twitter: @davidrtrainguy
email: thetrain.invain.829@gmail.com

If you like the blog, tell a friend!